The Rape of Tamar
13 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her.
3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea.[a] 4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?”
So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
5 “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish[b] as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.” 7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him.
8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. 9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left.
10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. 11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”
14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. 15 Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her.
16 “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.”
But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. 17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!”
18 So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe,[c] as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters. 19 But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying.
Footnotes:
13:3 Hebrew Shimeah (also in 13:32), a variant spelling of Shimea; compare 1 Chr 2:13.
13:6 Or a couple of cakes; also in 13:8, 10.
13:18 Or a robe with sleeves, or an ornamented robe. The meaning of the Hebrew is uncertain.
I don't know what is worse: the text above or the glorified paintings throughout the years of Tamar's rape... especially those who depict the innocent Tamar with a smirk on her face! Are you kidding me?! I get it was another time. I get there was a patriarchal system. But I don't get the lack of concern from anyone other than Absalom. I certainly do not condone his retaliation with murder. My heart just breaks for Tamar.
For those of us who have lived an entire life with the after affects of rape and incest in our families, these stories in scripture are so very hard to read and receive. Where was King David in confronting his son Amnon? Where were his own brothers in holding him accountable immediately after the event? Where was God? Where is God in the story? Where goes Tamar from here? No more mention or concern or outcome from Tamar.
Yet we see similar events occur right here in our own lives, and intentionally or unintentionally, we make the same mistakes. We think by taking care of things ourselves we are actually helping the victim. We think by saying nothing we protect the dignity of the one whose dignity has already been stolen. Oh, when will humanity learn from his/her mistakes and become a new people? A people who gives value to the other? A people who places lust at the bottom and integrity, respect for the human body, and love of those closest to us at the very top? [sigh]
No rape. We desperately need a world where there is no more rape.
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